The Etiquette Of Browsing

Hey gang, welcome to my first column for the Fifth Fret. My name is PT. I am the co-host of cult-favorite guitar podcast Six-String Bliss, a member of the cult-favorite comic book rock band Wednesday Heroes, but not a member of any actual cults.

Thanks to Pappy for having me.

For my first dispatch, I thought I would tackle a problem that has plagued the guitar community for decades… the etiquette of browsing.

I have spent countless hours in guitar stores, on both sides of the counter. Sometimes the experience has been great; other times, not so much.

I think that with some thoughtfulness on all our parts, we can all make the guitar shop experience a little better for everybody.

Let’s address four common problems one at a time.

Problem #1: Communication Breakdown

Guitarists love talking about guitar. If you need evidence of this, check out the countless guitar blogs, podcasts, magazines and message boards dedicated to our instrument. And there is no better place to chew the fat about our six-stringed love than in a guitar shop.

So then, why is it that the interactions at guitar shops can often be as stilted and boring as an old silent movie?

Here’s a couple of tips to help break the ice forming on the guitars.

- For the Sales Person: Yeah, ok, sometimes people who are really looking to buy play it coy by saying they are ‘just browsing’. But guess what? 90% of the people who say they are just browsing are ACTUALLY just browsing. Often times, the only reason we are in the guitar shop is that we didn’t want to go into the shoe store next door with our wife. So how about, rather than trying to determine if we are a ‘browser’ or a ‘buyer’, just talk to us. Instead of asking if we have any questions about your gear, ask US some questions about our gear. Find out about us. Cause even if we are a browser today, we are going to be a buyer sometime down the road. And please, avoid that terrible double-entendre of a question that ever guitarist has been asked at least once by a dull-witted salesperson: “Do you play with a band or do you just play with yourself?”

- For the Browser: Man, I’ll tell you what. Being a guitar sales person is much less fun and exciting than you would think. Your paycheck depends on your ability to get your customer to fall in love with a piece of gear. Because of this, your own love of gear can be put in jeopardy. Not only that, but you are constantly surrounded by cool gear that you MUST stop yourself from buying. The temptation, as you see customer after customer leave with gear you want, is insane. Far too many sales people blow far too much of their paycheck in-store. So, as the customer, instead of being on guard around the sales person, or seeing them only as the guy who hands you the demo cable, how about asking him some questions? What gear does he have at home? What piece is he currently lusting after? How about asking them to demo a piece of gear you’re interested in? Make nice with the salesman or lady, and not only will it help you when it comes negotiation time, but you will actually be talking to a real live person about guitar!

Problem #2: “No Stairway”

There is nothing better than plugging in, turning up and rocking out in a guitar store… as long as you are the one doing the rocking. Here are a couple tips for demoing gear.

- For the Sales Person: You know what’s great? When somebody walks in off the street, grabs a guitar and brings it up the counter to pay for it. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us guitar players like to try out our equipment before we buy it. And sometimes we need to do it at a volume slightly above a whisper. Sometimes we need to try a guitar four, five, or ten times before commit our cash to the purchase. And you know what? That’s ok. Because each time we play a guitar, that guitar’s place in our head grows a little bigger. And soon, we can’t help but plunk down our hard earned dollars. And it is much harder to negotiate when the salesman knows you’ve been in five times this week drooling over the same guitar. So let the customer play! If they are go on too loud or too long, maybe offer to move them to side room or lesson space where they can play in a bit more privacy. Because nine times out of ten, that investment will eventually pay off in a sale.

- For the Browser: Cold, hard fact time…. I don’t care how good you are; your playing will not impress the salespeople in the store. Jimi and SRV could walk in, grab Strats and play a duet of ‘Little Wing’ and the salespeople would sigh and look at their watches. Does that mean you should not demo gear, or that you should feel self-conscious demoing gear? Of course not! Just know that you are playing for yourself, not the other people in the store. If you are there to impress the salespeople or other customers, you are working at a futile task, my friend. So play as long as it takes to get a feel for the gear. But be aware that the longer you play, the more the salesperson knows you want the gear and the less willing to negotiation they will be.

Problem #3: Care and Feeding of the Guitars

It’s hard to know if you want to spend money on a guitar without holding the instrument in your hands. However, when you are talking about an instrument worth sometimes a thousand dollars or more, the salespeople get a little nervous with Joe Public rubbing his grubby fingers all over the thing.

- For the Sales Person: Let’s face it… they don’t touch the guitar; you don’t make the sale. If you have to be nervous, be nervous on the inside. But never let it show. Never make the customer, any feel bad for wanting to play, and never judge who can afford which guitars. End of sermon.

- For the Browser: Here’s a quick tip to show the salesperson you have respect for their instruments… before you play a guitar, take off your jacket. Yeah, I know, you’ve been playing guitar for 9 zillion years, you would never scratch a guitar, you are careful with your jacket zipper. But, the thing is, the salesperson does NOT know that. Is it really that hard to take your jacket off? It’s a sign of respect to the establishment. It is a sign to the salesperson that you take this thing we call guitar seriously. So, when in doubt, ask if you can try something, and don’t forget to take off your jacket. But leave your pants on.

Problem #4: Purchase Price

- All involved: In today’s society, we don’t have a lot of opportunities to negotiate. Well, now’s your chance. Have some fun with it! Can we all agree that negotiation is part of buying a guitar? The customer is not a jerk for offering a lower price than what’s listed and the salesperson is not a jerk for saying no. So get in there, negotiate a far deal for everyone and move some gear! That’s what it’s all about, right?

That’s all for this week. See you next Tuesday. Until then, bliss out.

- PT