Seth MacFarlane's New Big Band Album
Seth MacFarlane's New Big Band Album

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One of the things I still find awkward about guitar stores is when trying out a guitar there feels to be this immense pressure to do something “special”. If it is bad now, then it was immeasurably worse when I was just starting out. I’ve hit on what I believe is the perfect solution, that almost any guitar player can use to their advantage and feel comfortable picking up and testing any guitar in any shop.
My first realisation was, that when it came to actually selecting a guitar to buy, instead of widdling and playing on cool gear, I play the guitar differently. You can use this simple approach.
Before playing anything take a good close look at the instrument, pretend to look for glue seepage, sight up and down the neck, look at and feel the fret ends. Then you’re ready to play…

First strum an open E major chord slowly. pretend you’re listening to each individual string and how it sits in the balance. Do the same with a barre chord higher up the neck. Here it helps to pull a quizzical face as if something isn’t right, then play it a couple more times but even more slowly.
Next play a chromatic scale (i.e. every note stepping up one fret at a time) starting with the low open E, F, F#, G, G#, Open A, Bb, B, C… then move the hand up to the second position and repeat all the way up the neck until you’ve played every string on every fret. I’m pretending to be listening to the tone and for buzzes at every fret. And don’t do this quickly. You can enhance the impression of knowing what you’re doing by going slowly listening to each note, occasionally pulling a face and going back and retrying a couple of notes.
And lastly, the icing on the cake – on each string, fret it at the 12th, play a note, and then play the 12th fret harmonic and pretend to listen intently. At this point make a slightly disappointed face and hand the guitar back.
If you want to play your “party piece” then feel free to do so but, and this is the important part, DON’T TRY TOO HARD. Play it slowly and, again, pretend to listen intently to the sound. Pull the quizzical face again and go back over sections again – as if there is something puzzling about the guitar, rather than your ineptitude.

Of course, if you really like the guitar you can replace any of the puzzled/disgusted/quizzical faces with a slight nod of appreciation as if the guitar has exceeded your expectations.
If you can play like Paul Gilbert, feel free to ignore all of the above advice and shred away to your heart’s content, but do so in the realisation that, no matter how good you are, everyone else in the store thinks you’re a tosser.
And if you really are buying the guitar, then just delete the “pretend” from all of the above and actually do all these steps. That way you’ll find you’re buying an instrument that is well finished, sounds pleasing and balanced across the strings, has no dead or buzzing notes at any position on the neck, and is intonated properly. And that can’t be a bad thing, right?






FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August, 2011
The Trill - Tremolo Pedal Kit
New from MODTM Kits DIY

The Trill tremolo pedal offers classic tremolo tones in an easy to build kit.
The Trill’s speed knob provides a wide range from a very slow to rapid fire effect. The depth knob varies the ratio between effected and dry signal. Using modern, low noise transistors makes operation of The Trill quiet with no signal drop when engaged. The Trill uses true bypass foot switching so it is out of the signal path when not engaged.
MODTM Kits are designed to give novice and experienced musicians the opportunity to build their own amps and effects pedals. All kits come with clear and easy to follow well illustrated drawings, easy to follow instructions and use point-to-point wiring. A pre-drilled enclosure and all parts are included. All you need to provide are hand tools, a soldering iron and solder. The effect pedals operate on 9V batteries which are not included.
For a complete listing of kits available from MODTM Kits DIY visit
www.modkitsdiy.com
Maple Street Guitars

